Last week I recieved some shocking news, someone i knew and was friends with a few years ago decided to take his own life. Today I attended the funeral. I've been a tangled mix of emotions over the past week wondering despairingly if i could turn back the clock, is there something i could've done/said that would've prevented this from happening. and questioning whether if someone takes their own life they can still go to heaven.
I was so nervous about going today but I really wanted to say goodbye properly. I'm so glad i went. The vicar said some really reassuring things about how it wasn't important the manner of his passing, what was important was his relationship with Jesus. Only God knows exactly where he was at in his walk with him but i met him through churchy stuff and my prayer is that God has had mercy on his soul and that he genuinely acepted Jesus as his saviour. I won't find this out until I die but will take comfort in the fact I'm pretty sure he loved Jesus. He was carried out to the song 'Father God i wonder' by Ian Smale.
Steve was one of those selfless people who's work can often go unnoticed and unrecognised but without people like that things don't get done. What have i learnt? that it's important to accept people no matter what they're like -Steve had dispraxia but found a unique way to express himself and even learnt how to ride a motorscooter. We need to show people that we love them and appreciate their contribution before it's too late. You don't want to be left wondering what if?!
You will be forever loved, and forever missed, I wish you knew how loved you were
RIP Fairy Steve
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