1) I'll get by with a lil help from my friends (placement Jan)
2) Just when you feel you can't deal with it all, you trust God, and he heaps a whole lot more on your plate, but helps you get through it all!
3) Responsibility has an affect on all aspects of life
4) Giving your heart to someone who doesn't want it is a painful business
5) Just when you thought it wasn't possible, the impossible comes along :)
6) Muse are amazing live
7) It doesn't matter how long its been since you last spoke, if someone you know takes their own life, you'll find a way to partially blame yourself
8) Triathlon's are easier than they look/sound and are actually a lot of fun!
9) Always take the time to put socks on in transition or horrific blisters await!
10) Sometimes a job rejection is good news as it means theres a 10x more exciting adventure awaiting
11) Everything is possible through God
12) It's nice to make people feel you appreciate what they do for you
13) I am so blessed!
14) No matter how impossible it may seem to live with people, living with anyone is possible and fun
15) God is the same wherever you are, and its exciting to be around people who depend on him for the basic neccessities everyday and where God guides, he provides!
16) Africa is now in my blood <3
17) Its great to have friends in two places, and two places to call home
18) I still hate packing!!!
19) Its hard to watch a family member lose their memory and understand whats happening more than when it happened when you were 7
20) Life is just one suprise after another
21) Running water is actually amazing!!!
22) Its possible to end up in A&E as a patient on the first day of placement
23) House trips to A&E are quite entertaining
24) Banoffee pie should not be made by putting all the ingredients in the oven-right Lyds?!
25) you should check with the landlord if he has changed the burglar alarm code before setting it off on your first day in a new house
26) When your out of cake ingredients, its time to go food shopping
27) meeting Brazillion footballers sounds amazing, until you realise you can't speak portuguese
28) being content is one of the best states of mind :)
Hope you all have an amazing new year/decade :) xxxxxxxxxx
Saturday, 26 December 2009
Tuesday, 15 December 2009
Take 7-no joke
This is the 7th time I've attempted to make a comprehensible post that is publishable!
Its amazing what a change of scenery can do! The past term has been a toughie, a mixture of lots of things left me feeling down, just generally and there was nothing i could seem to do to perk up! but now I'm back I feel invigorated, to be fair I've spent the past 2 days with pretty much my best friends in the world, and the sights here are beautiful, even just the view from my window.
It was Nigel our lead elders last preach on Sunday and he said some very wise words, including that when he pops back from Berlin (where he's off to plant a church) he is going to be selling T-shirts with 'It's OK to be you' on them, he then said why do you think teenagers self harm?! It's because they are rejecting themselves, rejecting who they are. I spose this is one thing that has been true of myself over the years, I have been plagued by feelings of insufficiency, feeling that I'm just not good enough, that I don't make the cut. But it is true that God made me who I am and I'm great at being me, who this 'me' is I'm still discovering, but I'm learning to accept her. In some ways it's easier when I'm here with the people that just 'get me' and for that I am so grateful to them, and I'm grateful that they have been put in my life :) I find it so easy to dwell on those feelings, its great to feel free!
Term has been a long one and somewhat challenging, more work, actually counts, everyone got more work, people rarely free for fun :( but I have had some amazing times with the physios :) many laughs (bodies, dinner, malaysian food,countless lunches) and my secret Santa present was great- thanks Em! Housing for next year had to be sorted out, a highly stressful experience but its pretty much sorted now! Current house Christmas was great :) with the exception of Lyds being ill :(.
Been to a few gigs which were great, my like of muse was multiplied by 50 seeing them live. Michael McIntyre was hilarious as always. Paramore were great though it was a shame that our party ended up split up :( and that Russell used all the camera battery on 'you me at six' that it died when paramore came on-typical lol. The delirious farewell tour was amazing I've always loved the way that Martin Smith talks with such faith that it lifts yours and make you realise that with God's help, we actually could change the world! 'This beautiful thief' were great too :)
Mum has a new full time job-hooray :) answer to prayer when you least expect it!
House wise this term has been great, It's been so lovely living with people I want to come home to and there are usually a few guests round as well, highly distracting from a work and sleep perspective, but nice all the same!
I found that everything got a bit much in the first few weeks so I stepped down from being on the mission team, which I'm pretty sure was the right decision. Sorting out all the tri team's kit has been a headache especially as I kept missing training due to illness but hey ho!
Had two races, my first ever duathlon and aquathlon, both went well, I beat the times I was hoping to do :) made the mistake of saving time in transition by not wearing socks for the aquathlon and my feet are still recovering :/.
Only 'went out' a few times this term and most were spontaneous on the night 'why not?!'s, was alright, saw some random xfactor dude performing at Jam house. dressed up army, Christmas and togas!
Rugby has also taken a back seat this term, Wednesday afternoon is such a large chunk of work time! I also find it strange that I look forward to the weekends, then I work through them, except for church of course :)
The freshers have been cool to get to know, I found a life double in Tamsin which was really cool and we went for Starbucks in the last week of term :). Haven't seen much of my old flat/floor mates but I did stop by Wednesday and end up chatting with Lotte for 3 hours which was lovely-will try to make more of an effort next term, weds made me realise how much I miss them.
Started leading a small group at oasis which is cool, the people that come changes every week so no continuity, but that's what you expect with busy students really! Also embarked on the adventure of playing bass at church which has been fun :). looking to be relaunching the youth band next term which is exciting! have had some good times helping with youth socials this term!
That's all I can think of for now
Have an amazing Christmas and a very happy new year
peace out :) xxxxxxxxxxx :)
Its amazing what a change of scenery can do! The past term has been a toughie, a mixture of lots of things left me feeling down, just generally and there was nothing i could seem to do to perk up! but now I'm back I feel invigorated, to be fair I've spent the past 2 days with pretty much my best friends in the world, and the sights here are beautiful, even just the view from my window.
It was Nigel our lead elders last preach on Sunday and he said some very wise words, including that when he pops back from Berlin (where he's off to plant a church) he is going to be selling T-shirts with 'It's OK to be you' on them, he then said why do you think teenagers self harm?! It's because they are rejecting themselves, rejecting who they are. I spose this is one thing that has been true of myself over the years, I have been plagued by feelings of insufficiency, feeling that I'm just not good enough, that I don't make the cut. But it is true that God made me who I am and I'm great at being me, who this 'me' is I'm still discovering, but I'm learning to accept her. In some ways it's easier when I'm here with the people that just 'get me' and for that I am so grateful to them, and I'm grateful that they have been put in my life :) I find it so easy to dwell on those feelings, its great to feel free!
Term has been a long one and somewhat challenging, more work, actually counts, everyone got more work, people rarely free for fun :( but I have had some amazing times with the physios :) many laughs (bodies, dinner, malaysian food,countless lunches) and my secret Santa present was great- thanks Em! Housing for next year had to be sorted out, a highly stressful experience but its pretty much sorted now! Current house Christmas was great :) with the exception of Lyds being ill :(.
Been to a few gigs which were great, my like of muse was multiplied by 50 seeing them live. Michael McIntyre was hilarious as always. Paramore were great though it was a shame that our party ended up split up :( and that Russell used all the camera battery on 'you me at six' that it died when paramore came on-typical lol. The delirious farewell tour was amazing I've always loved the way that Martin Smith talks with such faith that it lifts yours and make you realise that with God's help, we actually could change the world! 'This beautiful thief' were great too :)
Mum has a new full time job-hooray :) answer to prayer when you least expect it!
House wise this term has been great, It's been so lovely living with people I want to come home to and there are usually a few guests round as well, highly distracting from a work and sleep perspective, but nice all the same!
I found that everything got a bit much in the first few weeks so I stepped down from being on the mission team, which I'm pretty sure was the right decision. Sorting out all the tri team's kit has been a headache especially as I kept missing training due to illness but hey ho!
Had two races, my first ever duathlon and aquathlon, both went well, I beat the times I was hoping to do :) made the mistake of saving time in transition by not wearing socks for the aquathlon and my feet are still recovering :/.
Only 'went out' a few times this term and most were spontaneous on the night 'why not?!'s, was alright, saw some random xfactor dude performing at Jam house. dressed up army, Christmas and togas!
Rugby has also taken a back seat this term, Wednesday afternoon is such a large chunk of work time! I also find it strange that I look forward to the weekends, then I work through them, except for church of course :)
The freshers have been cool to get to know, I found a life double in Tamsin which was really cool and we went for Starbucks in the last week of term :). Haven't seen much of my old flat/floor mates but I did stop by Wednesday and end up chatting with Lotte for 3 hours which was lovely-will try to make more of an effort next term, weds made me realise how much I miss them.
Started leading a small group at oasis which is cool, the people that come changes every week so no continuity, but that's what you expect with busy students really! Also embarked on the adventure of playing bass at church which has been fun :). looking to be relaunching the youth band next term which is exciting! have had some good times helping with youth socials this term!
That's all I can think of for now
Have an amazing Christmas and a very happy new year
peace out :) xxxxxxxxxxx :)
Friday, 18 September 2009
back on the treadmill...
Well I'm back t'up north now, or in these strange 'midlands' as its sometimes referred to. its flipping freezing!!!
though has warmed up slightly now that my house is full!
lectures have begun- oh the joys, though i do quite enjoy being intellectually stimulated, though brain is still in holiday mode and doesn't currently care especially where the pleura are! On the plus side, we've already had a couple of good conversations and invitations to some churchy events, so we'll see how they go -physio <3. And there is a couple of really interesting looking modules :).
Have taken on some exciting roles of responsibility this year including ladies vice captain of the triathlon team. During the course of 5hours on the tri stand at sports fair we had some good conversations.
Mission team, well i'm on the official mission team (publicity) at l'university cu (ubcu). we had our first meeting yesterday-its exciting stuff working to get the gospel spread out across campus. My Mum became a christian at university, I must say I am greatful to the people who decided to bring her along to cu events or she would never have met my Dad and I wouldn't be here!
Churchy stuff is going to be quite a focus this term I'm so excited about what God's got in store.
So I have properly given up kayaking in order to allow time for other things -amazing how you give up one thing and it gets replaced by 3!
I'm living in a house with 3 other girls, its all going well so far :) I pray that continues, it's nice to come home to peace!
I'm now on day 44, and with the aid of a study bible it's going well, i'm learning lots about the awesomeness and power of God, and along the way feel a lil sorry for moses! and feeling rather grateful that I live this side of the cross.
I know this term I'm likely to make a few mistakes and for that i ask your forgiveness! At the end of the day I'm just a sinner that God decided to use, shape and mould.
'So then, just as you recived christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him,rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfullness' -colossians 2v6-7
'let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverence the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured suuch opposition, so that you will not grow weary or lose heart.' Hebrews 12v1-3
New term love :) xxxxxxx
though has warmed up slightly now that my house is full!
lectures have begun- oh the joys, though i do quite enjoy being intellectually stimulated, though brain is still in holiday mode and doesn't currently care especially where the pleura are! On the plus side, we've already had a couple of good conversations and invitations to some churchy events, so we'll see how they go -physio <3. And there is a couple of really interesting looking modules :).
Have taken on some exciting roles of responsibility this year including ladies vice captain of the triathlon team. During the course of 5hours on the tri stand at sports fair we had some good conversations.
Mission team, well i'm on the official mission team (publicity) at l'university cu (ubcu). we had our first meeting yesterday-its exciting stuff working to get the gospel spread out across campus. My Mum became a christian at university, I must say I am greatful to the people who decided to bring her along to cu events or she would never have met my Dad and I wouldn't be here!
Churchy stuff is going to be quite a focus this term I'm so excited about what God's got in store.
So I have properly given up kayaking in order to allow time for other things -amazing how you give up one thing and it gets replaced by 3!
I'm living in a house with 3 other girls, its all going well so far :) I pray that continues, it's nice to come home to peace!
I'm now on day 44, and with the aid of a study bible it's going well, i'm learning lots about the awesomeness and power of God, and along the way feel a lil sorry for moses! and feeling rather grateful that I live this side of the cross.
I know this term I'm likely to make a few mistakes and for that i ask your forgiveness! At the end of the day I'm just a sinner that God decided to use, shape and mould.
'So then, just as you recived christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him,rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfullness' -colossians 2v6-7
'let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverence the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured suuch opposition, so that you will not grow weary or lose heart.' Hebrews 12v1-3
New term love :) xxxxxxx
Friday, 4 September 2009
The incomprehensible
Last week I recieved some shocking news, someone i knew and was friends with a few years ago decided to take his own life. Today I attended the funeral. I've been a tangled mix of emotions over the past week wondering despairingly if i could turn back the clock, is there something i could've done/said that would've prevented this from happening. and questioning whether if someone takes their own life they can still go to heaven.
I was so nervous about going today but I really wanted to say goodbye properly. I'm so glad i went. The vicar said some really reassuring things about how it wasn't important the manner of his passing, what was important was his relationship with Jesus. Only God knows exactly where he was at in his walk with him but i met him through churchy stuff and my prayer is that God has had mercy on his soul and that he genuinely acepted Jesus as his saviour. I won't find this out until I die but will take comfort in the fact I'm pretty sure he loved Jesus. He was carried out to the song 'Father God i wonder' by Ian Smale.
Steve was one of those selfless people who's work can often go unnoticed and unrecognised but without people like that things don't get done. What have i learnt? that it's important to accept people no matter what they're like -Steve had dispraxia but found a unique way to express himself and even learnt how to ride a motorscooter. We need to show people that we love them and appreciate their contribution before it's too late. You don't want to be left wondering what if?!
You will be forever loved, and forever missed, I wish you knew how loved you were
RIP Fairy Steve
I was so nervous about going today but I really wanted to say goodbye properly. I'm so glad i went. The vicar said some really reassuring things about how it wasn't important the manner of his passing, what was important was his relationship with Jesus. Only God knows exactly where he was at in his walk with him but i met him through churchy stuff and my prayer is that God has had mercy on his soul and that he genuinely acepted Jesus as his saviour. I won't find this out until I die but will take comfort in the fact I'm pretty sure he loved Jesus. He was carried out to the song 'Father God i wonder' by Ian Smale.
Steve was one of those selfless people who's work can often go unnoticed and unrecognised but without people like that things don't get done. What have i learnt? that it's important to accept people no matter what they're like -Steve had dispraxia but found a unique way to express himself and even learnt how to ride a motorscooter. We need to show people that we love them and appreciate their contribution before it's too late. You don't want to be left wondering what if?!
You will be forever loved, and forever missed, I wish you knew how loved you were
RIP Fairy Steve
Sunday, 16 August 2009
Uganda 2009- a rather long and very honest.
Uganda 2009
I had every intention of this post being practically just a copy of my diary, but when I discovered I had written over 100 pages and that translated in to over 50 A4 pages and no one would bother to read a post that long, I decided against it! So for full unpublished works ask me and I might let you have a gander.
So anyways Uganda was positively one of the best, most challenging, hard work, exhausting, emotional (though without much actually crying), reflective, evaluative times of my life. I learnt so much about myself, my life, my blessings and most importantly God, I am soooooo blessed.
Since coming back there have been some little things that have been amazing to me-for the first time ever! Running water all the time is one of my faves- it’s just brilliant! And I’ve never really appreciated it before.
The trip has helped me understand a lot more of how blessed I am to have the parents I have willing to give me so much and I realise how little I have demonstrated my appreciation in the past-bad Jet! I also have realised how selfish I am- more about that later!
Food
I have great like for food and was quite excited by the prospect of our first Ugandan meal –a couple of days in, so, much to the astonishment of the rest of the team I managed to finish my whole plate. Little did I know at that point that this would be the food we ate for the rest of the trip and it has to be said yesterday it was nice to not have eggs and bread for breakfast and some form of stew with matoke, rice, posha, mashed potatoes and cabbage for lunch and dinner.
One unforgettable night I killed a chicken, yes you heard me right, after dinner (while we were camping in Gulu) Hannah and I were on the way back from a good chat over washing hair in bucket by the pump when we bumped in to the others wandering back to the tents carrying 5 chickens, Catherine informed us that we would be killing them. After much contemplation when Vicky asked who would be up for doing it, I surprised myself by saying yes! Pastor Richard demonstrated how to do it, and after Mark had done his I stepped up to the plate. You had to stand on the wings, and legs hold the head and saw it off, with a rather blunt knife as quickly as you could- 3 cuts Richard said, I think it took me 3 1/2. Then you had to grab the neck to stop the blood spurting everywhere as the chicken twitched. ‘You’re mad, or that’s disgusting’ you might be thinking to yourself right now. My response would be that I would feel hypocritical if I could happily sit down to my dinner and not be physically capable of killing my meat. I wanted to prove to myself I could, and let’s face it, how many chances do we get here to kill chickens. Where in Uganda everyone from the age of 5 knows how to and can do it. It has to be said the chicken we ate for breakfast the next day, having killed, plucked and in Dan’s case gutted was the nicest chicken I have ever tasted!
Team
I honestly still can’t believe we managed to successfully have a unified team for an entire 30 day trip, barely any arguments whatsoever. All praise for this must of course go to God. It was amazing to have such honesty and friendship in a group of such different personalities unified by love of sport and love of God. Helped along with the amazing leadership of Vicky and Mark
Testimonies
One of the things on the trip that has been such a privilege was having the opportunity to chat to the Ugandans from ‘sports friends international’ about how they became Christians. So many faith building stories I was particularly struck by Papa’s and Nations’. Nations was brought up in a Muslim family and one day he woke up and heard a voice tell him he needed to get saved, so he went and spoke to the head boy of his school about Christianity and he led him to Christ. He returned to his family and his father said ‘If that is what you choose to believe you are no longer our son, you can no longer live here and we won’t pay your school fees’ Nations wondered where he could go so he went to the church, hasn’t seen his family since, dropped out of school and has been living in the church sleeping on the floor for the past 6 years. During those six years he said he has woken up and heard the voice tell him he needs to go preach the gospel to others. So he has been serving with sports friends international, he has practically nothing materially but he has such joy and passion. I think I finally understand what it says in Romans about how those who are poor should rejoice because they are spiritually rich.
Challenges
There have been oh so many! For this part I’m going to copy out of my diary
Monday 20th July 2009
I cannot help but feel that I had become incredibly lazy in my walk with God. If you really love someone, you shouldn’t fit them in in your day as an afterthought. I have been so challenged by these Ugandan’s who are so joyful and Jesus is all they have. I realise that I need to put God back in the driving seat of my life, as opposed to the front passenger who I listen to when I choose, and sometimes choose not to. I would always refer to myself as leaning on God, but being here has questioned me as to just how much?! I knew I trusted him for salvation so why do I struggle with the everyday day to day things?! I’m coming to realise just how as a sinner I was so unworthy of salvation. As the pastor said at church yesterday he had a dream where he was on the operating theatre and an angel was to perform an operation and pulled out these giant shears, (like you would use for gardening ) and squished his entire body and out of it found a very small lump that was good, and the angel said ‘this is alright, we can use this bit.’ It challenged me so much. I guess before coming here I thought I was alright as far as the ‘God stuff’ is concerned but since being here I realise how much I had neglected my relationship with the person who loves me most. How much of me he deserves yet how much my selfish heart would hold back.
I am so selfish, always thinking about me, not pointing to Jesus by thinking of what I can do to be a blessing to others. There are people in the East of this country living off rats and I’m worried about how large the slice of pizza I get is.
Wednesday 22nd July 2009
I find it amazing how when you come to a place like this you are compelled to examine the life you have been living, so out of context that you really gain some perspective. I was in a meeting once where they said something like if you own a fridge you are in the top 15% of the world’s wealthiest people. It is so easy in the UK to think we are the rule and coming here and seeing houses where an entire family live in a room made of mud that’s about half the size of my bedroom in Hastings. It suddenly brings a whole new perspective on facts like that.
Sights
We have seen some amazing things! On the flight we flew over the Sahara desert-it was stunning, sooooo much sand! Lightning storms were pretty spectacular forked lightning that illuminates the whole sky. We went to the Murchison falls where the whole of the river Nile squeezes through a gap about 4 meters wide, the sheer power and wonder it inspired in me! We stood there transfixed I said to Catherine, I cannot understand how people can see things like this and not believe in a God who created it! Then of course on safari we saw many a fabulous animal, including baby hippos, lots of crocs, heards of elephants just chilling, loads of giraffes including two walking so elegantly with the sunset just behind them-so picturesque!
Living
I’m not going to pretend it was always easy! The accommodation at the African bible university where we stayed for most of the trip was fairly basic but comfortable enough-freezing showers and the water got randomly tuned off, or would come out the tap bright red! When we were on safari we were accompanied by bats in our room and cockroaches in the hole in the ground toilet, you try squatting with cockroaches crawling around-eww! Then from there things got even more basic, there was a while the next day, when we’d travelled north to Gulu where we didn’t even know if we’d have a tent to sleep in or if we’d be under the stars. The person welcoming us to Gulu informed us that ‘All snakes are poisonous and will bite; some will just kill you faster!’ The night after in the tents we were woken by Vicky yelling ‘its not waterproof’ my tired brain was very confused as Catherine thought she’d said ‘it’s not water’ and I wondered what the wet stuff soaking me was! Mark came in to inform us that there was river slowly forming around out tent and we’d be under water in a few mins, so had to move! Fortunately we were living on a building site where the was a house being constructed so we moved to sleeping on the dust floor squished up next to each other but at least it was dry, the boys meanwhile had moved in to the bus! After the 2am wakeup call it was encouraging to have Isaiah 40 read at devotions (‘such a good psalm’-Catherine) before heading off to clear a path to the well – I think we all became quite skilled at using hoes!
Colossians
We spent an hour every day having team time in which we took it in terns to (in twos) prepare and deliver a bible study on a few verses of the book. I discovered a love for the word of God that I haven’t felt in a long time; it’s just so full of great stuff. It was great to have the opportunity to really get stuck in to it as a whole team, to debate topics, and discuss how we should apply it to life in Uganda and life back at uni! Colossians 3v17 being a particularly challenging verse. Also the encouragement that Jesus is sufficient and we need to keep our eyes constantly focussed on Jesus. It is so true that when I look back at life, the points at which I had this focus, everything else fell in to place and priorities were set right. If you do everything out of thankfulness to Christ ‘attitude of gratitude’ it’s amazing what you accomplish and with what joy!
The bible and books
As I have referred to in the previous paragraph I developed a greater love for the bible, it’s so key! In my quiet times I read through Roman’s –so humbling but gave me such joy that I am saved, and God chose me! Flitted through some other bits of the bible, all very good stuff-the sermon on the mount, the trial and crucifixion of Jesus, and a bit of James.
I read 3 whole books and a bit of another while I was away. The first of which called mere Christianity by C.s. Lewis it was really good at providing new angles to look at things like God being out of time, etc that are difficult concepts to grapple with! It ends with the wise words:
‘keep back nothing., Nothing that you have not given away will be really yours. Nothing in you that has not died will ever be raised from the dead. Look for yourself, and you will find in the long run only hatred, loneliness, despair, rage, ruin and decay. But look for Christ and you will find him, and with him everything else thrown in.’
It was good as these words complimented the lessons we were learning from Colossians about keeping your eyes fixed on Jesus.
Another book I read was by C.S Lewis called ‘the four loves’ It challenged me in ensuring that my love for God needs to be proportionally so much more than my love for anyone else.
‘The pursuit of God’ by A. W Tozer gave some wise words. When you put nearly a dozen Christians between the ages of 18 and 22 together for a month, conversation turns to the topics of great debate such as predestination in this book Tozer states:
‘God will not hold us responsible to understand the mysteries of election, predestination and the diving sovereignty. The best and safest way to deal with these truths is to raise our eyes to God and in deepest reverence say ‘O Lord, Thou knowest.’ Those things belong to the deep and mysterious profound of Gods omniscience. Prying in to them may make theologians, but it will never make saints.’
A far more articulate way to express what I have felt since I was 13 and genuinely grappled with these topics for a while! It is interesting to delve in to the bible on topics such as this, but I think we should probably direct our bible study to how we can best live out lives pointing to Christ and share Christ with all as opposed to falling in to habits of, ‘well if there Gods’ chosen people, they’ll be chosen whether or not I share the gospel with them.’ And as a result becoming lazy.
The pursuit of God talks about the story of Abraham and Isaac and ensuring that God is first above everything, this challenged me, am I genuinely willing to, like Nations give up everything for the sake of the gospel?! Do I have enough faith?! I’d like to say yes, if placed in that situation, but we can never guarantee what we would do until genuinely faced with it. However our priorities in the little things can demonstrate where our hearts are.
Skin colour
‘Is black beautiful?!’ The fact that someone asked me this question made me sad. How would the colour of one’s skin dictate their beauty?! Clarence went on to explain that here in Uganda people believe you have to be muzungu (white) to be beautiful. Before being in Uganda, never before in my life had I been faced with any different treatment or division due to skin colour. Shouts of ‘Muzungu, Muzungu’ followed us around all trip, little kids would point and shout and wave at our bus. One night after a football match one of the footballers insisted I gave him a kiss on the cheek out the window of the bus. Little kids came running at us for hugs and fought over who got to hold our hands when we made a circle. When we were at the football the professional photographer people made money out of us because people would buy pictures of them or their kids with the muzungu’s. I think at some points we got more attention than the Brazilian footballers, despite them being genuinely famous and all because of the colour of our skin. It made me so sad that people would see themselves as inferior due to skin colour and treat us as if we were special. In England I’m glad that more racial equality is displayed. It can become difficult when you get used to the special treatment, as Vicky said she was hoping whilst on the way to hospital with Ev’s who had dislocated here knee that they would get bumped to the front of the queue because of being white. It can be challenging to make sure we don’t become like our predecessors and take advantage. These people are just as valuable as we are, and we should never ever consider ourselves as better than them, even if they try to treat us as such. The balance has to be found between being disrespectful of their culture and ensuring equality and valuing their attempts to serve us. However when we went and washed an old ladies clothes or talked to people about Jesus it was a blessing to have the added authority of being muzungu as people listened to you, and valued what you had to say and for a muzungu to serve and elderly lady by collecting her water and doing the menial tasks was such a great witness, as it’s so countercultural.
Love
God is love and I love God. The alpha and omega creator of the universe loves me! That’s all the security I genuinely need, every other love we experience on Earth is merely a shadow or reflection of the love that God has lavished upon us. Many times on the trip Fordy prayed that we would fall more in love with God every day, this is my prayer too that I would daily fall more and more in love with him! –He will never leave me or forsake me, what a brilliant truth to know!
Poverty/famine/wealth
Money, what’s it really worth?! It struck me almost how the more people have, the more they want! I speak for myself when I say I’ve never realised until now how blessed I am. The salvation I have that comes from God is sufficient, but God has blessed me so abundantly more, I feel a sense of gratitude I have never felt before! I also feel a compelling desire to give more of myself and my resources to those who need it more than me, and to be a good steward with the money I am entrusted with, that doesn’t really belong to me anyway!
We spent a day helping with famine relief in the east of Uganda I’d seen it on TV the massive sacks and the people with cups dishing out rations. It has to be said I never thought I’d be the one doing the handing out. It was with faith that Gilly text the pastor from his church asking if they were able to do a collection, the response was amazing; the church donated over £1000 pounds which equated in to 25 100kg bags of maize flour or beans. The gratitude of the people brought me almost to tears. There was one moment when I looked up to see a young child gathering the beans that had fallen on the floor that did actually bring me to tears. Pastor Richard told the people that he had faith and it would rain, as we were driving away from a place that hadn’t had rain for 5 ½ months it started raining!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! God is real, alive and working, and answering prayer, so with faith and integrity and unselfish motives I would encourage you to get praying!!!
Never before in my life have I seen such contrast between rich and poor we had a couple of crazy days when the brazillions were there in which this was most obvious! The first of which, we began the day by travelling to a community where we helped an elderly disabled lady by collecting water and doing her washing. This was in an area where child and elderly sacrifice is a regular occurrence! (and no I’m not talking about them being abandoned or left to fend for themselves I genuinely mean sacrificed for good crops, rain etc!) – A hard hitting truth that things like that still happen! After that in the afternoon we went to the national stadium, and then joined the brazillions police convoy to their hotel. I went in as I needed the loo and was immediately struck that such a contrast exists so nearby! The lady we’d seen in the morning lived in a house the size of a small room. It was a blessing to have the opportunity to be a blessing to them. Seeing the look of gratitude on the face of a child that morning when we gave them a tennis ball, compared with wandering round this hotel. I couldn’t get my head round it!
2 days later we had another instance like this. We spent the morning in a prison and in Uganda they still have the death sentence, to hear a lady on death row state the words’ God is good, all the time!’ was quite something. A lot of the ladies in there were there because they had been domestically abused and it’d all got too much and they’d retaliated. Sad really especially as a lot of them didn’t know where their children were and if they’d ever see them again. We were there as with the money raised at the footy matches and potentially the Christians in sport game of two halves project they are setting up a children’s home for the children of the ladies, so they don’t have to grow up in prison or on the streets! Later that day we went to do football coaching with the Brazilians-except they were late and when they did arrive didn’t coach the girls anyway so Fordy and I spent 4 hours trying to entertain these girls, we started with football then duck duck goose, the ladder game, Simon says then Vicky told them to all go get a stick from the bushes, and we played hockey with a netball! At the end of the coaching, I had the privilege of leading a little boy to Christ!!! From there (this is where the Rich/ Poor contrast comes in) we went to a cooperate dinner –got changed in to our church stuff on the way, arrived there and Vicky poked her head round the door and said ‘they’re all wearing ball gowns!’ It was a very posh affair, delicious food, half our team that’d gone to a different place for coaching so didn’t have the bus or their stuff showed up in their shorts and t-shirts and had to wait outside for the bus. It was just the whole thing of going from being in a prison in the morning, to a place where we had to make the sports equipment from the bush to a really posh hotel where people could spare 3 million Ugandan shillings (£1000) to buy a signed football shirt! Seemed totally crazy, the way it all exists in such close proximity just the contrast was phenomenal, yet there was genuine joy everywhere I’ll go so far as to say those in the prison knowing genuine joy in Jesus had more joy than some of those at the cooperate dinner. Again with the whole you don’t need things to be happy, so long as you have Jesus! Leading the boy to Christ was amazing, with the help of Julius translating, such a privilege to know he was added to God’s kingdom that day!
Heartbroken
Or just broken-not really sure, whatever, God was at work in me! The first of which was when we went to stay in Gulu, I was so tired, so exhausted and it’d all got a bit much, we were 2 ½ weeks in to the trip, didn’t know where we would be staying that night and I felt completely broken, I had nothing left, completely run out, of patience, energy and strength. So I did what the only thing I had left to do was, and I prayed, crying out to God in my heart, and peace washed over me, especially as I was drifting off that night, when the tents had finally gone up. It struck me how as humans we wait to be rescued until we really really need saving, it’s only when we reach our lowest points that we are finally ready to let God take the wheel. Without God the flood the next day would’ve pushed me over the edge, as it was it was a highly hilarious affair!!!
The second instance was when we went to Soroti to give out aid for the famine, the moment that got me, was when I’d finished handing out 100kg of beans, the bag was empty and I looked up to see a young girl filling up a cup that she had picked up with the beans that had fallen on the floor, it broke my heart, I had to hold back tears.
The third instance was when we’d gone to a day-care centre, with 80 (normally 140) children between the ages of 2-6 their mothers work in the markets and so leave them there very early in the morning and don’t collect them till late at night! Around 50% of the children there are HIV positive. We did things like blow up balloons for them, and blow bubbles, they loved that, I managed to persuade a little shy girl who had been sat by herself to come over and after that she stuck with me like glue! Playing silly games etc–for the next 4 hours! When it came to time to say goodbye I was just walking out the gate, and looked back to see that this little girl had started crying! It broke my heart and I didn’t even know her name (language barriers and the fact she was about 3), you wonder what’s going to happen to them, will they be abused, will they die, do they ever really receive love? It was apparent that they certainly needed a little TLC.
Changed
I can honestly say I won’t look at some things with the same perspective again! I’ve realised that small things we take for granted like running water are such a blessing. Having a family free from HIV and an NHS service that give free healthcare for all are both great!
As for me, I have realised that I never appreciated what I have, but in truth until this trip I never quite realised just how much I do have! The very fact that I had the money and time to go on this trip are something of a blessing I’d not considered till actually there. I have also realised how selfish I can be and will endeavour to from this point on, as best as I can and with much help from the holy spirit try to be a blessing to others, thinking of their needs before my own!
I also realised how appalling my bible knowledge has become, so have decided to read the bible-the whole bible, in a year, I’m on day 4 in but it’s going well so far!
Now I know how much I have, I know I need to get my giving sorted and have been very challenged to give of my resources and my time to the furthering of God’s kingdom, As first and foremost we all need Jesus!
The comfortable life-I no longer think is for me, I absolutely adored being on such an adventure with God, thrown out of my comfort zone, fully reliant on him! I want to serve him, in everything I do, being back in the UK I have such itchy feet to ‘get back out there’ but I think I need a degree first, I’m a very practical girl and want to help people in practical ways. I’m trusting God and willing to go wherever I’m sent, and frankly I’m uber excited! Though equally excited to start a new uni term and get stuck in serving God there.
In conclusion, this trip has challenged and changed me in ways I didn’t think possible, but God is like that, God is soooo good!
To congratulate you in reading so far I thought i’d throw in some:
Classic quotes:
‘Nobody cares’ –Fordy 3am at the airport
‘if I were a boy I think I’d like...’ –Pete Murray
‘Finding a wife’ –Pete Murray-asleep
‘Ooh! What’s this I’m tasting’ –Jet-asleep
‘No not a camel’-Jet-asleep
‘Come Saturday they’re probably Jew a rest’-Nibs talking about the Sabbath
‘I wouldn’t want to be a panda, they don’t like mating’ –Duncan
‘It’s not waterproof’- ‘what do you mean it’s not water’
‘Let’s get some good bed action-I mean sleep action’ –Vicky
‘Make sure you wear protection-sleep under a mozzie net’-Duncan (in response to Vicky’s prior comment)
‘Let’s make a baby and head out’ –Mark to Michael the bus driver
Gilly gave us some classic Christian chat up lines: ‘I’d go through Job for you’ ‘I didn’t know what predestination was, till I met you’ and ‘I don’t know if you noticed but my bible’s leather bound’
Vicky goes through everyone names then introduces Pete as ‘thing’
‘All the people with large breasts are going to go play netball’-pastor Richard
Thank you sooooo much for all you prayers, love and support.
Ridiculously loads of love
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I had every intention of this post being practically just a copy of my diary, but when I discovered I had written over 100 pages and that translated in to over 50 A4 pages and no one would bother to read a post that long, I decided against it! So for full unpublished works ask me and I might let you have a gander.
So anyways Uganda was positively one of the best, most challenging, hard work, exhausting, emotional (though without much actually crying), reflective, evaluative times of my life. I learnt so much about myself, my life, my blessings and most importantly God, I am soooooo blessed.
Since coming back there have been some little things that have been amazing to me-for the first time ever! Running water all the time is one of my faves- it’s just brilliant! And I’ve never really appreciated it before.
The trip has helped me understand a lot more of how blessed I am to have the parents I have willing to give me so much and I realise how little I have demonstrated my appreciation in the past-bad Jet! I also have realised how selfish I am- more about that later!
Food
I have great like for food and was quite excited by the prospect of our first Ugandan meal –a couple of days in, so, much to the astonishment of the rest of the team I managed to finish my whole plate. Little did I know at that point that this would be the food we ate for the rest of the trip and it has to be said yesterday it was nice to not have eggs and bread for breakfast and some form of stew with matoke, rice, posha, mashed potatoes and cabbage for lunch and dinner.
One unforgettable night I killed a chicken, yes you heard me right, after dinner (while we were camping in Gulu) Hannah and I were on the way back from a good chat over washing hair in bucket by the pump when we bumped in to the others wandering back to the tents carrying 5 chickens, Catherine informed us that we would be killing them. After much contemplation when Vicky asked who would be up for doing it, I surprised myself by saying yes! Pastor Richard demonstrated how to do it, and after Mark had done his I stepped up to the plate. You had to stand on the wings, and legs hold the head and saw it off, with a rather blunt knife as quickly as you could- 3 cuts Richard said, I think it took me 3 1/2. Then you had to grab the neck to stop the blood spurting everywhere as the chicken twitched. ‘You’re mad, or that’s disgusting’ you might be thinking to yourself right now. My response would be that I would feel hypocritical if I could happily sit down to my dinner and not be physically capable of killing my meat. I wanted to prove to myself I could, and let’s face it, how many chances do we get here to kill chickens. Where in Uganda everyone from the age of 5 knows how to and can do it. It has to be said the chicken we ate for breakfast the next day, having killed, plucked and in Dan’s case gutted was the nicest chicken I have ever tasted!
Team
I honestly still can’t believe we managed to successfully have a unified team for an entire 30 day trip, barely any arguments whatsoever. All praise for this must of course go to God. It was amazing to have such honesty and friendship in a group of such different personalities unified by love of sport and love of God. Helped along with the amazing leadership of Vicky and Mark
Testimonies
One of the things on the trip that has been such a privilege was having the opportunity to chat to the Ugandans from ‘sports friends international’ about how they became Christians. So many faith building stories I was particularly struck by Papa’s and Nations’. Nations was brought up in a Muslim family and one day he woke up and heard a voice tell him he needed to get saved, so he went and spoke to the head boy of his school about Christianity and he led him to Christ. He returned to his family and his father said ‘If that is what you choose to believe you are no longer our son, you can no longer live here and we won’t pay your school fees’ Nations wondered where he could go so he went to the church, hasn’t seen his family since, dropped out of school and has been living in the church sleeping on the floor for the past 6 years. During those six years he said he has woken up and heard the voice tell him he needs to go preach the gospel to others. So he has been serving with sports friends international, he has practically nothing materially but he has such joy and passion. I think I finally understand what it says in Romans about how those who are poor should rejoice because they are spiritually rich.
Challenges
There have been oh so many! For this part I’m going to copy out of my diary
Monday 20th July 2009
I cannot help but feel that I had become incredibly lazy in my walk with God. If you really love someone, you shouldn’t fit them in in your day as an afterthought. I have been so challenged by these Ugandan’s who are so joyful and Jesus is all they have. I realise that I need to put God back in the driving seat of my life, as opposed to the front passenger who I listen to when I choose, and sometimes choose not to. I would always refer to myself as leaning on God, but being here has questioned me as to just how much?! I knew I trusted him for salvation so why do I struggle with the everyday day to day things?! I’m coming to realise just how as a sinner I was so unworthy of salvation. As the pastor said at church yesterday he had a dream where he was on the operating theatre and an angel was to perform an operation and pulled out these giant shears, (like you would use for gardening ) and squished his entire body and out of it found a very small lump that was good, and the angel said ‘this is alright, we can use this bit.’ It challenged me so much. I guess before coming here I thought I was alright as far as the ‘God stuff’ is concerned but since being here I realise how much I had neglected my relationship with the person who loves me most. How much of me he deserves yet how much my selfish heart would hold back.
I am so selfish, always thinking about me, not pointing to Jesus by thinking of what I can do to be a blessing to others. There are people in the East of this country living off rats and I’m worried about how large the slice of pizza I get is.
Wednesday 22nd July 2009
I find it amazing how when you come to a place like this you are compelled to examine the life you have been living, so out of context that you really gain some perspective. I was in a meeting once where they said something like if you own a fridge you are in the top 15% of the world’s wealthiest people. It is so easy in the UK to think we are the rule and coming here and seeing houses where an entire family live in a room made of mud that’s about half the size of my bedroom in Hastings. It suddenly brings a whole new perspective on facts like that.
Sights
We have seen some amazing things! On the flight we flew over the Sahara desert-it was stunning, sooooo much sand! Lightning storms were pretty spectacular forked lightning that illuminates the whole sky. We went to the Murchison falls where the whole of the river Nile squeezes through a gap about 4 meters wide, the sheer power and wonder it inspired in me! We stood there transfixed I said to Catherine, I cannot understand how people can see things like this and not believe in a God who created it! Then of course on safari we saw many a fabulous animal, including baby hippos, lots of crocs, heards of elephants just chilling, loads of giraffes including two walking so elegantly with the sunset just behind them-so picturesque!
Living
I’m not going to pretend it was always easy! The accommodation at the African bible university where we stayed for most of the trip was fairly basic but comfortable enough-freezing showers and the water got randomly tuned off, or would come out the tap bright red! When we were on safari we were accompanied by bats in our room and cockroaches in the hole in the ground toilet, you try squatting with cockroaches crawling around-eww! Then from there things got even more basic, there was a while the next day, when we’d travelled north to Gulu where we didn’t even know if we’d have a tent to sleep in or if we’d be under the stars. The person welcoming us to Gulu informed us that ‘All snakes are poisonous and will bite; some will just kill you faster!’ The night after in the tents we were woken by Vicky yelling ‘its not waterproof’ my tired brain was very confused as Catherine thought she’d said ‘it’s not water’ and I wondered what the wet stuff soaking me was! Mark came in to inform us that there was river slowly forming around out tent and we’d be under water in a few mins, so had to move! Fortunately we were living on a building site where the was a house being constructed so we moved to sleeping on the dust floor squished up next to each other but at least it was dry, the boys meanwhile had moved in to the bus! After the 2am wakeup call it was encouraging to have Isaiah 40 read at devotions (‘such a good psalm’-Catherine) before heading off to clear a path to the well – I think we all became quite skilled at using hoes!
Colossians
We spent an hour every day having team time in which we took it in terns to (in twos) prepare and deliver a bible study on a few verses of the book. I discovered a love for the word of God that I haven’t felt in a long time; it’s just so full of great stuff. It was great to have the opportunity to really get stuck in to it as a whole team, to debate topics, and discuss how we should apply it to life in Uganda and life back at uni! Colossians 3v17 being a particularly challenging verse. Also the encouragement that Jesus is sufficient and we need to keep our eyes constantly focussed on Jesus. It is so true that when I look back at life, the points at which I had this focus, everything else fell in to place and priorities were set right. If you do everything out of thankfulness to Christ ‘attitude of gratitude’ it’s amazing what you accomplish and with what joy!
The bible and books
As I have referred to in the previous paragraph I developed a greater love for the bible, it’s so key! In my quiet times I read through Roman’s –so humbling but gave me such joy that I am saved, and God chose me! Flitted through some other bits of the bible, all very good stuff-the sermon on the mount, the trial and crucifixion of Jesus, and a bit of James.
I read 3 whole books and a bit of another while I was away. The first of which called mere Christianity by C.s. Lewis it was really good at providing new angles to look at things like God being out of time, etc that are difficult concepts to grapple with! It ends with the wise words:
‘keep back nothing., Nothing that you have not given away will be really yours. Nothing in you that has not died will ever be raised from the dead. Look for yourself, and you will find in the long run only hatred, loneliness, despair, rage, ruin and decay. But look for Christ and you will find him, and with him everything else thrown in.’
It was good as these words complimented the lessons we were learning from Colossians about keeping your eyes fixed on Jesus.
Another book I read was by C.S Lewis called ‘the four loves’ It challenged me in ensuring that my love for God needs to be proportionally so much more than my love for anyone else.
‘The pursuit of God’ by A. W Tozer gave some wise words. When you put nearly a dozen Christians between the ages of 18 and 22 together for a month, conversation turns to the topics of great debate such as predestination in this book Tozer states:
‘God will not hold us responsible to understand the mysteries of election, predestination and the diving sovereignty. The best and safest way to deal with these truths is to raise our eyes to God and in deepest reverence say ‘O Lord, Thou knowest.’ Those things belong to the deep and mysterious profound of Gods omniscience. Prying in to them may make theologians, but it will never make saints.’
A far more articulate way to express what I have felt since I was 13 and genuinely grappled with these topics for a while! It is interesting to delve in to the bible on topics such as this, but I think we should probably direct our bible study to how we can best live out lives pointing to Christ and share Christ with all as opposed to falling in to habits of, ‘well if there Gods’ chosen people, they’ll be chosen whether or not I share the gospel with them.’ And as a result becoming lazy.
The pursuit of God talks about the story of Abraham and Isaac and ensuring that God is first above everything, this challenged me, am I genuinely willing to, like Nations give up everything for the sake of the gospel?! Do I have enough faith?! I’d like to say yes, if placed in that situation, but we can never guarantee what we would do until genuinely faced with it. However our priorities in the little things can demonstrate where our hearts are.
Skin colour
‘Is black beautiful?!’ The fact that someone asked me this question made me sad. How would the colour of one’s skin dictate their beauty?! Clarence went on to explain that here in Uganda people believe you have to be muzungu (white) to be beautiful. Before being in Uganda, never before in my life had I been faced with any different treatment or division due to skin colour. Shouts of ‘Muzungu, Muzungu’ followed us around all trip, little kids would point and shout and wave at our bus. One night after a football match one of the footballers insisted I gave him a kiss on the cheek out the window of the bus. Little kids came running at us for hugs and fought over who got to hold our hands when we made a circle. When we were at the football the professional photographer people made money out of us because people would buy pictures of them or their kids with the muzungu’s. I think at some points we got more attention than the Brazilian footballers, despite them being genuinely famous and all because of the colour of our skin. It made me so sad that people would see themselves as inferior due to skin colour and treat us as if we were special. In England I’m glad that more racial equality is displayed. It can become difficult when you get used to the special treatment, as Vicky said she was hoping whilst on the way to hospital with Ev’s who had dislocated here knee that they would get bumped to the front of the queue because of being white. It can be challenging to make sure we don’t become like our predecessors and take advantage. These people are just as valuable as we are, and we should never ever consider ourselves as better than them, even if they try to treat us as such. The balance has to be found between being disrespectful of their culture and ensuring equality and valuing their attempts to serve us. However when we went and washed an old ladies clothes or talked to people about Jesus it was a blessing to have the added authority of being muzungu as people listened to you, and valued what you had to say and for a muzungu to serve and elderly lady by collecting her water and doing the menial tasks was such a great witness, as it’s so countercultural.
Love
God is love and I love God. The alpha and omega creator of the universe loves me! That’s all the security I genuinely need, every other love we experience on Earth is merely a shadow or reflection of the love that God has lavished upon us. Many times on the trip Fordy prayed that we would fall more in love with God every day, this is my prayer too that I would daily fall more and more in love with him! –He will never leave me or forsake me, what a brilliant truth to know!
Poverty/famine/wealth
Money, what’s it really worth?! It struck me almost how the more people have, the more they want! I speak for myself when I say I’ve never realised until now how blessed I am. The salvation I have that comes from God is sufficient, but God has blessed me so abundantly more, I feel a sense of gratitude I have never felt before! I also feel a compelling desire to give more of myself and my resources to those who need it more than me, and to be a good steward with the money I am entrusted with, that doesn’t really belong to me anyway!
We spent a day helping with famine relief in the east of Uganda I’d seen it on TV the massive sacks and the people with cups dishing out rations. It has to be said I never thought I’d be the one doing the handing out. It was with faith that Gilly text the pastor from his church asking if they were able to do a collection, the response was amazing; the church donated over £1000 pounds which equated in to 25 100kg bags of maize flour or beans. The gratitude of the people brought me almost to tears. There was one moment when I looked up to see a young child gathering the beans that had fallen on the floor that did actually bring me to tears. Pastor Richard told the people that he had faith and it would rain, as we were driving away from a place that hadn’t had rain for 5 ½ months it started raining!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! God is real, alive and working, and answering prayer, so with faith and integrity and unselfish motives I would encourage you to get praying!!!
Never before in my life have I seen such contrast between rich and poor we had a couple of crazy days when the brazillions were there in which this was most obvious! The first of which, we began the day by travelling to a community where we helped an elderly disabled lady by collecting water and doing her washing. This was in an area where child and elderly sacrifice is a regular occurrence! (and no I’m not talking about them being abandoned or left to fend for themselves I genuinely mean sacrificed for good crops, rain etc!) – A hard hitting truth that things like that still happen! After that in the afternoon we went to the national stadium, and then joined the brazillions police convoy to their hotel. I went in as I needed the loo and was immediately struck that such a contrast exists so nearby! The lady we’d seen in the morning lived in a house the size of a small room. It was a blessing to have the opportunity to be a blessing to them. Seeing the look of gratitude on the face of a child that morning when we gave them a tennis ball, compared with wandering round this hotel. I couldn’t get my head round it!
2 days later we had another instance like this. We spent the morning in a prison and in Uganda they still have the death sentence, to hear a lady on death row state the words’ God is good, all the time!’ was quite something. A lot of the ladies in there were there because they had been domestically abused and it’d all got too much and they’d retaliated. Sad really especially as a lot of them didn’t know where their children were and if they’d ever see them again. We were there as with the money raised at the footy matches and potentially the Christians in sport game of two halves project they are setting up a children’s home for the children of the ladies, so they don’t have to grow up in prison or on the streets! Later that day we went to do football coaching with the Brazilians-except they were late and when they did arrive didn’t coach the girls anyway so Fordy and I spent 4 hours trying to entertain these girls, we started with football then duck duck goose, the ladder game, Simon says then Vicky told them to all go get a stick from the bushes, and we played hockey with a netball! At the end of the coaching, I had the privilege of leading a little boy to Christ!!! From there (this is where the Rich/ Poor contrast comes in) we went to a cooperate dinner –got changed in to our church stuff on the way, arrived there and Vicky poked her head round the door and said ‘they’re all wearing ball gowns!’ It was a very posh affair, delicious food, half our team that’d gone to a different place for coaching so didn’t have the bus or their stuff showed up in their shorts and t-shirts and had to wait outside for the bus. It was just the whole thing of going from being in a prison in the morning, to a place where we had to make the sports equipment from the bush to a really posh hotel where people could spare 3 million Ugandan shillings (£1000) to buy a signed football shirt! Seemed totally crazy, the way it all exists in such close proximity just the contrast was phenomenal, yet there was genuine joy everywhere I’ll go so far as to say those in the prison knowing genuine joy in Jesus had more joy than some of those at the cooperate dinner. Again with the whole you don’t need things to be happy, so long as you have Jesus! Leading the boy to Christ was amazing, with the help of Julius translating, such a privilege to know he was added to God’s kingdom that day!
Heartbroken
Or just broken-not really sure, whatever, God was at work in me! The first of which was when we went to stay in Gulu, I was so tired, so exhausted and it’d all got a bit much, we were 2 ½ weeks in to the trip, didn’t know where we would be staying that night and I felt completely broken, I had nothing left, completely run out, of patience, energy and strength. So I did what the only thing I had left to do was, and I prayed, crying out to God in my heart, and peace washed over me, especially as I was drifting off that night, when the tents had finally gone up. It struck me how as humans we wait to be rescued until we really really need saving, it’s only when we reach our lowest points that we are finally ready to let God take the wheel. Without God the flood the next day would’ve pushed me over the edge, as it was it was a highly hilarious affair!!!
The second instance was when we went to Soroti to give out aid for the famine, the moment that got me, was when I’d finished handing out 100kg of beans, the bag was empty and I looked up to see a young girl filling up a cup that she had picked up with the beans that had fallen on the floor, it broke my heart, I had to hold back tears.
The third instance was when we’d gone to a day-care centre, with 80 (normally 140) children between the ages of 2-6 their mothers work in the markets and so leave them there very early in the morning and don’t collect them till late at night! Around 50% of the children there are HIV positive. We did things like blow up balloons for them, and blow bubbles, they loved that, I managed to persuade a little shy girl who had been sat by herself to come over and after that she stuck with me like glue! Playing silly games etc–for the next 4 hours! When it came to time to say goodbye I was just walking out the gate, and looked back to see that this little girl had started crying! It broke my heart and I didn’t even know her name (language barriers and the fact she was about 3), you wonder what’s going to happen to them, will they be abused, will they die, do they ever really receive love? It was apparent that they certainly needed a little TLC.
Changed
I can honestly say I won’t look at some things with the same perspective again! I’ve realised that small things we take for granted like running water are such a blessing. Having a family free from HIV and an NHS service that give free healthcare for all are both great!
As for me, I have realised that I never appreciated what I have, but in truth until this trip I never quite realised just how much I do have! The very fact that I had the money and time to go on this trip are something of a blessing I’d not considered till actually there. I have also realised how selfish I can be and will endeavour to from this point on, as best as I can and with much help from the holy spirit try to be a blessing to others, thinking of their needs before my own!
I also realised how appalling my bible knowledge has become, so have decided to read the bible-the whole bible, in a year, I’m on day 4 in but it’s going well so far!
Now I know how much I have, I know I need to get my giving sorted and have been very challenged to give of my resources and my time to the furthering of God’s kingdom, As first and foremost we all need Jesus!
The comfortable life-I no longer think is for me, I absolutely adored being on such an adventure with God, thrown out of my comfort zone, fully reliant on him! I want to serve him, in everything I do, being back in the UK I have such itchy feet to ‘get back out there’ but I think I need a degree first, I’m a very practical girl and want to help people in practical ways. I’m trusting God and willing to go wherever I’m sent, and frankly I’m uber excited! Though equally excited to start a new uni term and get stuck in serving God there.
In conclusion, this trip has challenged and changed me in ways I didn’t think possible, but God is like that, God is soooo good!
To congratulate you in reading so far I thought i’d throw in some:
Classic quotes:
‘Nobody cares’ –Fordy 3am at the airport
‘if I were a boy I think I’d like...’ –Pete Murray
‘Finding a wife’ –Pete Murray-asleep
‘Ooh! What’s this I’m tasting’ –Jet-asleep
‘No not a camel’-Jet-asleep
‘Come Saturday they’re probably Jew a rest’-Nibs talking about the Sabbath
‘I wouldn’t want to be a panda, they don’t like mating’ –Duncan
‘It’s not waterproof’- ‘what do you mean it’s not water’
‘Let’s get some good bed action-I mean sleep action’ –Vicky
‘Make sure you wear protection-sleep under a mozzie net’-Duncan (in response to Vicky’s prior comment)
‘Let’s make a baby and head out’ –Mark to Michael the bus driver
Gilly gave us some classic Christian chat up lines: ‘I’d go through Job for you’ ‘I didn’t know what predestination was, till I met you’ and ‘I don’t know if you noticed but my bible’s leather bound’
Vicky goes through everyone names then introduces Pete as ‘thing’
‘All the people with large breasts are going to go play netball’-pastor Richard
Thank you sooooo much for all you prayers, love and support.
Ridiculously loads of love
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Saturday, 4 July 2009
3...2...1...GO-erm you sure?!
I was wandering into town this morning, (I say wandering, more rushing around like a headless chicken because once again unsuprisingly i thought i was late). Anyways i had my mp3 player in my ears and a song came on 'take it to the streets/yes lord' that was played a fair bit at Newday one year. I knew everytime I heard it that it was my mission, to take the gospel of christ wherever I went and I also have felt a call on my heart since i was 14 to go to the nations. I just never thought it would really be that day (always had faith and belived it would at somepoint, someday), which is funny because thats still how I feel but I am going to Uganda in 2 days, it still feels like something for the future (in the whole 'plans for when i'm grown up' box) but i am coming to realise that the future is now that my mission is in the here and now-wherever the here and now might be. At the end of the day I don't know how many days I have been blessed with, but I intend to make the most of every single one.
Back to the point i was making, the words of the song include the line 'will you take it to the ends of the Earth? Sing yes lord... followed by the chorus from the congregation (of which my voice was one) yell 'Yes Lord'
I wonder how often (as i was contemplating with my close friend Pete last night) we sing words of christian songs without really singing them, worship is surely meant to be a heart attitude and if we aren't singing the words with our hearts as well, we may as well not be singing them! As i was walking back from town (and a very lovely long chat with Maddie) the end of the song was still playing so i flicked it back to the beginning and sung the words in my heart, comitting everything I am about to do to be used for God's plans and purposes. It was quite strange because as I was walking back I passed one of the boys who used to be a part of the kidz klub Iused to help with, reminding me in some ways of the mission fields i had been a part of and how significant each one is. But here i am, a simple 19 year old with a passion in her heart to see Jesus glorified in this nation and the world, one soul sold out for God, excited that even this person can be used by him. and the day after tomorrow i'm off!!! -Eeek!
A little poem i borrowed but really like:
When I say "I'm a Christian", i'm not shouting i'm clean livin'.
i'm whispering i was lost, now i'm found and forgiven.
When i say "i'm a Christian", i dont speak of this with pride.
im confessing that i stumble and need Christ to be my guide.
When i say "i'm a Christian", i'm not trying to be strong.
i'm professing that i'm weak and need His strength to carry on.
When i say "i'm a Christian", i'm not bragging of success.
i'm admitting i have failed and need God to clean my mess.
When i say "i'm a Christian", i'm not claiming to be perfect.
my flaws are far too visible but, God believes i'm worth it.
When i say "i'm a Christian", i still feel the sting of his pain.
i have my share of heartaches so i call upon His name.
When i say "i'm a Christian", i'm not holier than thou.
i'm just a simple sinner who received God's good grace, somehow.
Back to the point i was making, the words of the song include the line 'will you take it to the ends of the Earth? Sing yes lord... followed by the chorus from the congregation (of which my voice was one) yell 'Yes Lord'
I wonder how often (as i was contemplating with my close friend Pete last night) we sing words of christian songs without really singing them, worship is surely meant to be a heart attitude and if we aren't singing the words with our hearts as well, we may as well not be singing them! As i was walking back from town (and a very lovely long chat with Maddie) the end of the song was still playing so i flicked it back to the beginning and sung the words in my heart, comitting everything I am about to do to be used for God's plans and purposes. It was quite strange because as I was walking back I passed one of the boys who used to be a part of the kidz klub Iused to help with, reminding me in some ways of the mission fields i had been a part of and how significant each one is. But here i am, a simple 19 year old with a passion in her heart to see Jesus glorified in this nation and the world, one soul sold out for God, excited that even this person can be used by him. and the day after tomorrow i'm off!!! -Eeek!
A little poem i borrowed but really like:
When I say "I'm a Christian", i'm not shouting i'm clean livin'.
i'm whispering i was lost, now i'm found and forgiven.
When i say "i'm a Christian", i dont speak of this with pride.
im confessing that i stumble and need Christ to be my guide.
When i say "i'm a Christian", i'm not trying to be strong.
i'm professing that i'm weak and need His strength to carry on.
When i say "i'm a Christian", i'm not bragging of success.
i'm admitting i have failed and need God to clean my mess.
When i say "i'm a Christian", i'm not claiming to be perfect.
my flaws are far too visible but, God believes i'm worth it.
When i say "i'm a Christian", i still feel the sting of his pain.
i have my share of heartaches so i call upon His name.
When i say "i'm a Christian", i'm not holier than thou.
i'm just a simple sinner who received God's good grace, somehow.
Probably won't write again till I'm back
Much love :) xxxxxxx
Sunday, 28 June 2009
Not so poetic but hey...The adventure that is life...
Setting the scene:
I take myself back to a time around this point last year when I was rounding off my A levels with feelings of excitement and trepidation. I remember one morning around exam time when my Mum was driving us along the seafront to college and the Matt Redmond song ‘oh no you never let go’ was playing and I was thinking I’ve just got to get through this. Through these exams get the grades I needed etc. There was a lot also going on in life at that point but we won’t go in to that here.
A couple of months down the line I attended a bible camp called newday, it was a very challenging week in which I learnt lots about letting God take control of my life that at the end of the day he was the only one coming to uni with me! I was walking back from one of the evening meeting when Andrew Woods who I was walking beside turned to me and said ‘look’, walking just a few paces in front of us was someone wearing a ‘university of Birmingham physiotherapy’ jumper, Woodsy eventually persuaded me to go up and talk to her. The she in question turned out to be Cheryl who I now serve with on the youth team, at oasis church Birmingham.
A week or so later laying in a caravan bed, at about 7am there was the sound of a phone and Sarah poked me, I rolled over and she informed me I had got in to Birmingham, I made an ‘uh huh’ sound and rolled over and went back to sleep, feeling content J! So that was that, I knew where I was going, was I relieved, was I nervous?! I wasn’t really sure. One worry started creeping in to my head, what if I don’t make any friends?!
The last part of September was tough, packing was the hardest thing I’d had to do in a while, I would start then about half an hour in, just dissolve in to tears. Just 2 days before I was set to leave I found myself in this predicament so went for a walk up the west hill (a truly beautiful sight that overlooks the sea, the old town and the fishing boats, a good place to think.) wandered down to the seafront and to my delight Sarah was working in the sweet shop so I popped in and we chatted and laughed and hugged for a while.
Two days later the big day had arrived, the car was packed, the nerves were rolling, stopped off at Grandma’s for lunch, arrived at the vale, ran around like a headless chicken attempting to get everything sorted. When we had unpacked enough that I could be left with the remaining suitcases it was bye bye parents time (we’d done bye bye brothers the day before) tearful hugs and they were gone. I felt numb, after going to bar one and getting to know flatmates a lil I lay in my new bed that night, unable to get to sleep and thought ‘welcome to the rest of your life’.
Let’s fast forward and change gear
First term:
The first term of university were three of the best months of my life, I felt free, alive, living each day for the moment. I loved the adventure of getting to know people, discovering something of their story. Discovering new places and doing new things. There was no history on enmity and no complicated past relationships to create divides. I had never been more grateful of being a Christian, having God on my side, every step of the way. It was through Christian union and church that I met some of my closest friends. Finding a church was one thing I found quite difficult but I trusted God and I feel he has put me in a church where I can grow in my relationship with him, and serve him wholeheartedly, I am so blessed!
When it nearly fell apart:
The first month of the second term was placement. Everyone else was coming back after Christmas to get stuck back in with their courses and have fun together. Whereas I had to quickly unpack my stuff, pack a load of stuff and head to Shrewsbury for one of the most challenging months ever! It got off to a pretty horrendous start the next day when I passed out seeing my first patient-whoops! At that point I was ready to give up, I got sent back to the hospital accommodation and lay on my bed listening to some Christian worship songs and crying out to God, I really didn’t know what to do! In the weeks that followed, I spent many hours on the phone to my mother contemplating dropping out, taking a gap year, finding out what I was supposed to do. When I returned to the land of students on Thursdays the support I received was fantastic. The friends that I had made in the first term showed their true colours, that they were genuinely there for me, which meant a phenomenal amount and encouraged me to keep going and stick it out. So here I am, I made it :) ! With much help from letters, texts, brownies and bible passages :) .
Friendships:
One of the most important things in life is the people we share it with. As stated in the paragraph above, I don’t think I would’ve made it through this year if it weren’t for the friends I shared it with. The girlie time with Lyds, Jo and the girlies, the many hours of moaning with Kirsty and the physios J and the crazy times bound to befall when in the company of Tim Miller and Joe Adams, the many lunches with Phil and Russ (and the very occasional one with the Mason WhiteJ ). I could go on, but I’d be scared that I missed someone off, you all mean the world to me, this year wouldn’t have been half as much fun without you, thank you for putting up with me and my ‘posh chavvy’ accent :P .
Singleness
‘If singleness is a gift, how come no one wants it?!’ a question I sometimes find myself pondering. I came to uni in a bit of a mess relationships wise, to be honest, uni came at a very good time! There was always this idea implanted in my head that people tend to meet their future spouses at uni –helped along by the fact my parents did. I have to admit I was half hoping for a knight in shining armour moment, for Mr Right to show up and sweep me off my feet –yeah right lol. Nothing in life is that simple! I’m just an individual with flaws and faults and I make mistakes, we all do; who one day hopes to find someone who can accept all my flaws, mistakes and differences and love me anyway. I have come to realise this is one of those things that needs a serious direction-from a director and on this particular topic where I stand right now is delighting myself in God, my maker, protector and saviour, who loves me completely for who I am and hoping that one day he has someone like that for me, someone with their own flaws mistakes and differences who I love regardless, and who loves me for me. For now I’m content in Gods plans, knowing that if there is someone for me, he’s got it sorted and if there isn’t there are so many exciting opportunities being single brings. So we’ll see what excitement the future brings.
Exams
Always a challenge! As some of you learnt firsthand (Joe and Russ) I’m not good with exam stress. This merely comes from a desire to do the best I possibly can, and not let myself down, I always know God has his hands on exams, and is a lot more in control than I give him credit for! For now I’m waiting on my results to see how it’s all gone but trusting that what God wants is what’ll happen!
Some outstanding events
Within every year are the times that you look back at and think ‘HA’ or similar, for me some of the highlights of my year include... sporting wise: making it through my first rugby match and not being one of the 4 members of my team hospitalised! Winning the kayak polo tournament at Warwick, getting a pb in the run at the biathlon having done v little training, getting in to the Sussex xcountry team when spontaneously deciding to run at the champs at Christmas, the finish line of my first ever triathlonJ and being voted ladies vice captain for the triathlon team next year. Random wise: dancing in the rain with Lydia and Jo, being tied to Joe for the last night of last term in a stubborn fight, making far too much rice with Lyds and Jo, houseparty, rolling down a big hill on the momentum weekend away, pudding party for my birthday, Jam house, gladiators at church, girlie prayer breakfasts, chicken Joes, 3 legged bar crawl through Selly oak, the last day of placement, propaganda, and late night chatsJ.
The last night
Following a fun night partying at Jam house we ended up at Lydia’s for a PJ party. After many ‘it’s getting light, its getting light’s from Thea, we emptied out on the vale, wrapped in blankets. Climbed to the top of one of the highest mason blocks and for about 2 hours watched the sunrise over the vale, it was glorious, the perfect end to an amazing year. A moment shared with good friends in awe and wonder at the creation of God and how he’d brought us all together to share the amazing past 8 monthsJ in which I know for me I’ve grown and changed in ways I didn’t think possible.
Grateful
I conclude this rather long piece with a real sense of gratitude. For the places I’ve been, for who I’m becoming, for the people I’ve shared life with (whatever stage) I’m honestly in awe of how everything’s turned out. Sure life is full of challenges, but that’s when we learn to lean on God and see how he works thing out for our good! Speaking of challenges, the next step for me is a trip to Uganda in a matter of weeks now. I know this is going to be a challenging, but hopefully a rewarding experience and I can’t wait to see what excitement this and the next year at uni will bring. What’s going to happen?! I have absolutely no idea but I know that with God, it’s going to be an adventure whatever and I look forward to it!
P.s Since writing this I've found out that i passed 1st year so will be back in brum in September!
I take myself back to a time around this point last year when I was rounding off my A levels with feelings of excitement and trepidation. I remember one morning around exam time when my Mum was driving us along the seafront to college and the Matt Redmond song ‘oh no you never let go’ was playing and I was thinking I’ve just got to get through this. Through these exams get the grades I needed etc. There was a lot also going on in life at that point but we won’t go in to that here.
A couple of months down the line I attended a bible camp called newday, it was a very challenging week in which I learnt lots about letting God take control of my life that at the end of the day he was the only one coming to uni with me! I was walking back from one of the evening meeting when Andrew Woods who I was walking beside turned to me and said ‘look’, walking just a few paces in front of us was someone wearing a ‘university of Birmingham physiotherapy’ jumper, Woodsy eventually persuaded me to go up and talk to her. The she in question turned out to be Cheryl who I now serve with on the youth team, at oasis church Birmingham.
A week or so later laying in a caravan bed, at about 7am there was the sound of a phone and Sarah poked me, I rolled over and she informed me I had got in to Birmingham, I made an ‘uh huh’ sound and rolled over and went back to sleep, feeling content J! So that was that, I knew where I was going, was I relieved, was I nervous?! I wasn’t really sure. One worry started creeping in to my head, what if I don’t make any friends?!
The last part of September was tough, packing was the hardest thing I’d had to do in a while, I would start then about half an hour in, just dissolve in to tears. Just 2 days before I was set to leave I found myself in this predicament so went for a walk up the west hill (a truly beautiful sight that overlooks the sea, the old town and the fishing boats, a good place to think.) wandered down to the seafront and to my delight Sarah was working in the sweet shop so I popped in and we chatted and laughed and hugged for a while.
Two days later the big day had arrived, the car was packed, the nerves were rolling, stopped off at Grandma’s for lunch, arrived at the vale, ran around like a headless chicken attempting to get everything sorted. When we had unpacked enough that I could be left with the remaining suitcases it was bye bye parents time (we’d done bye bye brothers the day before) tearful hugs and they were gone. I felt numb, after going to bar one and getting to know flatmates a lil I lay in my new bed that night, unable to get to sleep and thought ‘welcome to the rest of your life’.
Let’s fast forward and change gear
First term:
The first term of university were three of the best months of my life, I felt free, alive, living each day for the moment. I loved the adventure of getting to know people, discovering something of their story. Discovering new places and doing new things. There was no history on enmity and no complicated past relationships to create divides. I had never been more grateful of being a Christian, having God on my side, every step of the way. It was through Christian union and church that I met some of my closest friends. Finding a church was one thing I found quite difficult but I trusted God and I feel he has put me in a church where I can grow in my relationship with him, and serve him wholeheartedly, I am so blessed!
When it nearly fell apart:
The first month of the second term was placement. Everyone else was coming back after Christmas to get stuck back in with their courses and have fun together. Whereas I had to quickly unpack my stuff, pack a load of stuff and head to Shrewsbury for one of the most challenging months ever! It got off to a pretty horrendous start the next day when I passed out seeing my first patient-whoops! At that point I was ready to give up, I got sent back to the hospital accommodation and lay on my bed listening to some Christian worship songs and crying out to God, I really didn’t know what to do! In the weeks that followed, I spent many hours on the phone to my mother contemplating dropping out, taking a gap year, finding out what I was supposed to do. When I returned to the land of students on Thursdays the support I received was fantastic. The friends that I had made in the first term showed their true colours, that they were genuinely there for me, which meant a phenomenal amount and encouraged me to keep going and stick it out. So here I am, I made it :) ! With much help from letters, texts, brownies and bible passages :) .
Friendships:
One of the most important things in life is the people we share it with. As stated in the paragraph above, I don’t think I would’ve made it through this year if it weren’t for the friends I shared it with. The girlie time with Lyds, Jo and the girlies, the many hours of moaning with Kirsty and the physios J and the crazy times bound to befall when in the company of Tim Miller and Joe Adams, the many lunches with Phil and Russ (and the very occasional one with the Mason WhiteJ ). I could go on, but I’d be scared that I missed someone off, you all mean the world to me, this year wouldn’t have been half as much fun without you, thank you for putting up with me and my ‘posh chavvy’ accent :P .
Singleness
‘If singleness is a gift, how come no one wants it?!’ a question I sometimes find myself pondering. I came to uni in a bit of a mess relationships wise, to be honest, uni came at a very good time! There was always this idea implanted in my head that people tend to meet their future spouses at uni –helped along by the fact my parents did. I have to admit I was half hoping for a knight in shining armour moment, for Mr Right to show up and sweep me off my feet –yeah right lol. Nothing in life is that simple! I’m just an individual with flaws and faults and I make mistakes, we all do; who one day hopes to find someone who can accept all my flaws, mistakes and differences and love me anyway. I have come to realise this is one of those things that needs a serious direction-from a director and on this particular topic where I stand right now is delighting myself in God, my maker, protector and saviour, who loves me completely for who I am and hoping that one day he has someone like that for me, someone with their own flaws mistakes and differences who I love regardless, and who loves me for me. For now I’m content in Gods plans, knowing that if there is someone for me, he’s got it sorted and if there isn’t there are so many exciting opportunities being single brings. So we’ll see what excitement the future brings.
Exams
Always a challenge! As some of you learnt firsthand (Joe and Russ) I’m not good with exam stress. This merely comes from a desire to do the best I possibly can, and not let myself down, I always know God has his hands on exams, and is a lot more in control than I give him credit for! For now I’m waiting on my results to see how it’s all gone but trusting that what God wants is what’ll happen!
Some outstanding events
Within every year are the times that you look back at and think ‘HA’ or similar, for me some of the highlights of my year include... sporting wise: making it through my first rugby match and not being one of the 4 members of my team hospitalised! Winning the kayak polo tournament at Warwick, getting a pb in the run at the biathlon having done v little training, getting in to the Sussex xcountry team when spontaneously deciding to run at the champs at Christmas, the finish line of my first ever triathlonJ and being voted ladies vice captain for the triathlon team next year. Random wise: dancing in the rain with Lydia and Jo, being tied to Joe for the last night of last term in a stubborn fight, making far too much rice with Lyds and Jo, houseparty, rolling down a big hill on the momentum weekend away, pudding party for my birthday, Jam house, gladiators at church, girlie prayer breakfasts, chicken Joes, 3 legged bar crawl through Selly oak, the last day of placement, propaganda, and late night chatsJ.
The last night
Following a fun night partying at Jam house we ended up at Lydia’s for a PJ party. After many ‘it’s getting light, its getting light’s from Thea, we emptied out on the vale, wrapped in blankets. Climbed to the top of one of the highest mason blocks and for about 2 hours watched the sunrise over the vale, it was glorious, the perfect end to an amazing year. A moment shared with good friends in awe and wonder at the creation of God and how he’d brought us all together to share the amazing past 8 monthsJ in which I know for me I’ve grown and changed in ways I didn’t think possible.
Grateful
I conclude this rather long piece with a real sense of gratitude. For the places I’ve been, for who I’m becoming, for the people I’ve shared life with (whatever stage) I’m honestly in awe of how everything’s turned out. Sure life is full of challenges, but that’s when we learn to lean on God and see how he works thing out for our good! Speaking of challenges, the next step for me is a trip to Uganda in a matter of weeks now. I know this is going to be a challenging, but hopefully a rewarding experience and I can’t wait to see what excitement this and the next year at uni will bring. What’s going to happen?! I have absolutely no idea but I know that with God, it’s going to be an adventure whatever and I look forward to it!
P.s Since writing this I've found out that i passed 1st year so will be back in brum in September!
Saturday, 6 June 2009
random thought
It's not falling that hurts,
its the moment you reach the bottom,
and realise,
there was noone there to catch you!
its the moment you reach the bottom,
and realise,
there was noone there to catch you!
Sunday, 10 May 2009
I sometimes feel I can't deal with all this,
things feel tough and hard, well tis
I think i'll give up understanding,
before I make a dire crash landing
i lift up my eyes, i lift up my face,
and there before me i see your grace,
shines down upon me through time and space
to wipe the faults i cant erase.
my yoke is easy and burden is light,
because you've moved it from my sight,
when i give it up, for you to fight
i rest easy in your pure delight!
things feel tough and hard, well tis
I think i'll give up understanding,
before I make a dire crash landing
i lift up my eyes, i lift up my face,
and there before me i see your grace,
shines down upon me through time and space
to wipe the faults i cant erase.
my yoke is easy and burden is light,
because you've moved it from my sight,
when i give it up, for you to fight
i rest easy in your pure delight!
Saturday, 9 May 2009
Welcome!
So today I decided to start a new blog, I like to express myself through poetry, as it turns life in to a little riddle that makes some things easier to solve and some things harder. But whatever, its what i do, so i thought i would creat a space to let my feelings out and if you happen to have stumbled upon it, i hope you enjoy what you read! My feelings in black and white!
so here is todays offerings:
People walk in and out of our lives,
carving a path that directs ours,
they walk and talk and breath and think,
holding us up so we don't sink!
But then there are times when they let us down,
laugh as hard as you can, you can't help but frown,
you try to smile and pass it by,
but inside, inside, you can't help but sigh.
Occassionally one comes along,
to break the mould of this doleful song
they relight the fire in your tired heart
and help you burn like a bright spark
peace out peeps :) xxxxx
so here is todays offerings:
People walk in and out of our lives,
carving a path that directs ours,
they walk and talk and breath and think,
holding us up so we don't sink!
But then there are times when they let us down,
laugh as hard as you can, you can't help but frown,
you try to smile and pass it by,
but inside, inside, you can't help but sigh.
Occassionally one comes along,
to break the mould of this doleful song
they relight the fire in your tired heart
and help you burn like a bright spark
peace out peeps :) xxxxx
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